What happens when you fall asleep on the job.. The baby watching job.

Yes, I will admit it. I have fallen asleep a couple times while watching Adrien. Its hard not to sometimes. Working 40 hours a week, 6 days a week and watching Adrien from the time he gets up until its time to go to work takes a toll on me when it comes to sleeping. So it has never been a problem until the last two times it has happened. Before I don't even think he realized what was going on. Its never more than 10 or 15 minutes, But after these last two times, it probably won't happen again. I say this because I'm pretty sure he plots to kill me when I do fall asleep. So the first time was 2 weeks ago. We were playing with his big green ball, just tossing it back and forth. I was sitting on the floor with my back against the couch and I decided he had gotten bored with that because he got up and went into his play room. I could hear hit sit on his little zebra thing and start playing. So I stood up and sat on the couch. Feet on the floor still and I just kind of laid over. I can assume it was only about 5 mins later because the same show was on when I was awakened. Thats the best part is he woke me up. So I assume he came back into the living room ready to play ball again to find his daddy snoozing on the couch. So how does he wake me up? By hitting me in the face with the ball. For anyone who hasn't seen him throw his ball i will explain how he does it. So he takes the ball in both hands and brings it behind his head and throws it. Well when the ball hit me and I woke up, he was standing directly in front of me. So really, the ball probably never even left his hands. Its too bad there wasn't a camera running because that would have made a great youtube video. "Boy hits dad in face with ball to wake him up". So after this time I told myself not to do it again. Well last week I let it happen again. What was I thinking? So Sesame Street was on and we were playing and acting silly. Well as always, Elmo was coming on and he stopped dead in his tracks and sat to watch. I proceeded to just lay back on the couch for those few minutes because I always lay him down at 11 for his nap. So I'm laying there and I can remember right at the end of Elmo the song being sang. So I know this time I was only asleep for maybe 2 minutes. So I had been having a problem with snoring the past couple weeks because I had been fighting a cold, so I can only assume that I was snoring and this is what provoked what happened next. My head was laying facing out towards him. I wake up, Adrien's face is literally touching mine. I can hear like a muffled giggle and thats when I wake up enough to realize that his pursed lips are inside of my mouth. He is laughing like crazy and I'm just like wtf is going on here. I felt like a baby and a cat was trying to lick the milk off my breath and kill me. My son was trying to steal my breath. Doesn't he know all he has to do be his cute self for that to happen? I guess not. So after these two instances I really hope that I can hold it together in the mornings and make it to his nap time so I don't get hit in the face with a ball or wake up to my son trying to kill me. I hope this makes you laugh as much as it made Kim and I laugh. No more sleeping on the job for me.... Booooo to that!

Life as a retail associate... sometimes really sucks.

So out of the past 10 years that I have been working, almost 8 of those have been in retail. So I guess you could say I know the ins and the outs and the good and the bad. The first thing you should know, if you don't already is that when you are "welcomed" to the store, its because the company is making us. I prefer a nice, "Hi, how are you doing today". Saying Welcome to Blah Blah sounds way to generic. But studies in the company show that people prefer that more. Studies in California also show that pretty sure anything there is in this world, will give you cancer. So I'll let you decide.. There are good days, there are bad days and then there are just plain shitty days. Or rather I should say nights. Which is when I get all the disgruntled employees who have just left their job and are on a rampage. So my first topic I'd like to touch on is, in a Pharmacy, there is what we call a Front End and then there is a Pharmacy. Most people don't understand this concept. Therefore there is a Store Manager/Shift Supervisor and then there is a Pharmacy Manager. This is the biggest misconception I deal with. When a customer comes and complains to me, I kindly tell them that if he is working, that all complaints should be directed to the pharmacy manager. But no, its too much for them to walk back there, even though they are about to pick up their rx and look directly at said pharmacy manager and complain to him about his associates. The only thing I have to do with the pharmacy is counting their tills at the end of their shift and occasionally helping them locate an item, which I happen to be damn good at. So that brings me to my next topic, me asking if you if you need help finding something. Asking someone if they need help, they reply no, and then proceed to ask me where to find this item brings me to a spot I don't like to go too often. That spot is the pissed off zone. But what is even worse is being called a racist for asking someone if they need help. Yes, I said it, a racist. The first time it happened a black lady comes in, asks where the perms are and I respond, aisle 2 which is where the ethnic hair care is. She called me a racist for sending a black woman to the ethnic hair care section. I just work there, i don't make the decision to keep it separate. The second time it happened with a black gentleman who I kindly asked if he needed help location anything. He responded with no, I think I got it. No biggie right? Well a white woman came in right after him whom I welcomed to the store with no response, not even an acknowledgment. So when he comes up to check out he proceeds to call me a racist because I asked him if he needed help but didn't ask the white lady. To me, I was actually for once trying to give good customer service to someone who deserved it over someone who didn't and got called a racist. Fail.... Anyways so my next topic would have to be, just because I work in a pharmacy doesn't mean I'm a licensed doctor. So my advice is just that, advice. Most of the time I just send them straight to the pharmacist. Next would be the gentlemen, usually older white men and middle aged black men who feel like if they slam the pen into the sigcap (debit/credit card machine) that it will make it work better. At best it is doing nothing but making the machine perform less and making me more annoyed. I mean every one that I have ever used, i use my finger and it works perfectly. Maybe slamming the pen into the screen makes them feel more manly, but usually just makes them look dumb because it doesn't work 9 times out of 10. So the final topic I want to touch on is, neatness of putting products back on the shelf. I have worked there long enough and considering I straighten every single night, I can tell what had been shopped and what people just throw back on the shelf knocking 6-7 other items over to you. Yes it seems easier, on you, but makes my work harder as I have to make this look good every night in case the usual district or corporate visitor comes though the next day. So when I come to a section that looks like the aftermath of the Haiti earthquakes I get a little pissed off. But what pisses me off even more is when someone is on the same aisle as I am, sees me doing my thing, and continually knocks shit off the shelf and just throws it back anywhere they see fit. Thats when I want to smack a bitch. Like sometimes I actually daydream of going to the people who do these things places of work and just throwing shit I find all over the place. Kicking a trashcan. Going to their bathroom and pissing on the floor. Lots of things really. These are just a few items that I really dislike about my job. Don't get me wrong, there are customers that when I get to see it brings a smile to my face and I chat with them and shoot the shit with some of them. But there are actually some customers that, well, I run from. So they don't bother the living fuck out of me. Ohh yeah and for you couponers out there, just make sure you have you're shit together. I'm all for saving some money. But don't tell me I'm wrong when I read you company policy after you rant off some shit you read on the internet. I could find plenty of dumb shit on there within 30 seconds that is wrong but could swear to you that just because I read it, its true. So hopefully this rant doesn't offend anyone. Maybe it makes someone realize, hey maybe I should be more careful while shopping. Or maybe to some it makes you want to come into my store and knock shit off the shelf and laugh to your buddies about it. To you, I say, Fuck you sir/ma'am and have a shitty day/night.


So I must have bad karma rolling with me. I posted this up last night and I had one of the worst nights ever tonight. Like 7 or 8 little ass cunt teenagers come and just wreak havoc all over the store. I heard them as soon as they walked in and knew there was a situation in the making. So first they start playing with the big rubber play balls, which one accidentally hit me. Like, at this point I'm just telling myself to take deep breaths. I was about to go Walter Sobjack in this mother fucker. Like they were over the line and I was ready to pull a loaded pistol to make sure it was marked a zero. But I went more with The Dude and just took deep breaths and went with the china man just peed on my rug, which really tied the room together, man. So I keep my cool. Then I hear them over by the condoms and lube playing and acting really immature and what have you. At one point I hear the other shift supervisor ask one of the girls if they had just knocked something off the shelf to which she replied, no, but I will pick it up. You're god damned right you will. So the finally leave and all is back to normal. So I think. Until we see the messes they have made and the snow globe they wrapped a condom around. Like what is wrong with teenagers these days? When I was that age I was out smoking dope and drinking liquor. I didn't have time to go play in pharmacies and act like douchebags. So hopefully I have no more bad karma and my days in retail get better and never have another one of these. Stupid little ass cunts.... Sorry just had to say it one more time.